Post-election thoughts

The days just after the general election always bother me. It's like we've decided that the single, most important act we can do as citizens of this country is to vote. We say, "You're a good American, as long as you vote. We don't care what you do for the rest of the four years, but if you vote, you are an amazing person."

So, we wait in line for a few hours, vote, get a sticker, and post on Facebook, "See? I voted!" And we think our civic duty has just been completed.

If our guy loses, we lean back in our chairs, smack our hands together, and say, "I wash my hands of this mess. The next four years isn't my fault or my problem." In fact, when our guy loses, we secretly want things to go badly so we can say, "See, I told you so" and get our guy in office next go-round.

If our guy wins, we lean back in our chairs, breathe a sigh of relief, and say, "Whew, my job here is done. I elected the right guy, and he'll take care of the rest for us."

But voting is not the most important thing we can do as Americans. Honestly, if we don't live in Ohio, Virginia, Colorado, or Florida, our vote probably was meaningless. But if we're searching for a way to truly impact lives around us, perhaps we should take a moment to actually look around us.

If we cared as much about local politics as we do about the general election, imagine the good we could do for our neighbors.

But I know local politics is difficult for us in our 20s and 30s to get excited about. Our generation is on the move. My husband and I have lived in Texas, Colorado, Tennessee, New Jersey, and New York. I'm not even sure I knew the mayors of more than half of the cities in which I've lived. (And I'm not even counting study abroad or working abroad experiences.)

In fact, let me fess up to how my moving lifestyle has affected my own political actions. I wasn't even registered to vote in NY. I still had my NJ license. I remembered checking the box when getting my NJ license to automatically register me to vote, but I guess it didn't go through because NJ didn't have me on the books as a registered voter. So, I didn't even vote this election. The pressure to vote in the general election is so great that I haven't even admitted this to most of my friends. But, the rational side of me knows that my vote wouldn't have even mattered in NJ or NY.

If I don't stay in one city or state long enough to ensure that I'm licensed to drive there and registered to vote there, how can I possibly say that I'm going to get involved with local politics?

And all I can think about is how badly I want to move back to Texas.

So, how can our generation, so open to moving, so transitory, how can we focus more on local politics, which is where we can make the most difference?

I don't know, and I'm trying to figure this out for myself. How do you get involved with your local politics or communities or churches? How do you plug in with your neighborhood? This migratory girl is looking for some feedback/suggestions and hoping to inspire you to plug in locally too.

P.S. Like the new color scheme? Hoping to make more changes soon.

Part-time Mama

I want to take a moment to talk about life as a part-time working mom.

Working moms and stay-at-home moms often seem to propose that working part-time is the end all, be all perfect solution to life. I'm not so sure, though. I often wonder about going to work full-time or quitting my part-time gigs to focus on the kids full-time. Right now, I'm in the part-time limbo. Honestly, I'm trying to decide if I'm happy, and maybe writing through things will help.

I'm an adjunct faculty member at Molloy College, where I teach two classes. I'm teaching Intro Sociology again. This third time around, and I feel like I have a pretty good handle on it. Actually, I'm probably overly confident, since there have been several classes where I walk in with only a vague idea of what we're supposed to cover for the day and the notes I prepared last year. I'm also teaching an upper-level class, Social Psychology. I love the material that we're covering in that class - identity, group interaction, attraction and relationships, anger and prejudice - all super fascinating. But it is hard to keep up with the planning! Flying by the seat of my pants hardly even covers it. I'm scrambling, constantly. The only thing on my side is that I feel much more confident in the classroom, so even if I'm panicking on the inside ("How am I going to make this discussion stretch another 20 minutes?!"), I think I'm better about appearing calm. I get pretty good vibes from both my Intro and Social Psych class.

But I'm not just a teacher. I'm a teaching mom, and that's what makes life hard. On teaching days, I get myself and the kids ready, pack my lunch, and head out the door at the same time as Chad. (We have a really fantastic part-time nanny who stays with the kids all day.) I commute an hour and a half, via train, then shuttle, and the shuttle gets to the campus just in time for me to eat lunch while pumping. I then have 15 minutes to make copies and get to class. My classes are back-to-back, then I rush back to pump before I need to catch the shuttle to catch the train. Then, I go home, make dinner, give baths, read books, and tuck kiddos into bed - whew! Makes me tired to think about it.

A teacher's tasks are only half (or a third) classroom time, especially when teaching a class the first time around. Prepping for class, writing exams, and grading are done at home, during nap time or TV time.

My other part-time job is editing, also done at home, often after the kiddos go to sleep. This is the time of the year when I get the most freelance editing requests for academic journal articles, grant proposals, personal statements, all sorts of stuff. I like the editing, though, so I don't want to say no!

Oh, yeah, and because I'm a home-maker, I have to squeeze housework, finances, cooking, etc in there. One advantage of being a NYC mom is that we have a wash-and-fold laundromat downstairs, and I often order groceries to be delivered. So, really, I'm quite luckily in that regard.

But life has gotten a bit easier in the last couple of weeks because I decided to transition Ewan onto formula. It's always a wrestle with guilt no matter when you wean, but I decided that breastfeeding for 6 months was pretty good. I forget how much easier it is to bottle feed rather than breastfeed! I lay him on the couch, hand him his bottle, and he holds it himself while I work next to him or read a book to Cora.

So, such is the life of a part-time working mom. Is this the best combination? If I worked full-time, I'd have the nanny do things like clean the house and make dinner. If I stayed at home, I wouldn't have to do class prep or edit during nap time or after bed. Being part-time means I don't have the benefit of either, but I have the responsibilities of all the above. Is this the best way of life?

I'm not sure.

But I know that what I do want to work on is worrying less about all the tasks, getting done what I can, but making time to pause an enjoy little moments with my kids - playing legos and teaching letters to Cora, making silly "bababababa" noises with Ewan. Those moments are important, and I don't want to miss them. But I also love having a job of some sort. Oh, modern motherhood!

Project Minimalism

It started out simply enough. I threw out the bath toys - all but a couple of small cups and a couple of squirty fish. I got so tired of cleaning off the mold! I would procrastinate cleaning the bath tub because I knew I would have to soak the bath toys in the kitchen sink filled with bleach and scrub all of the plastic squirters. So, one day, I finally cleaned the bath tub. I had the toys next the kitchen sink, and instead of submerging them in the bleach water, I chucked them in the recycling. (Can plastic bath toys be recycled? I don't know, but that's what I did!) And it felt so good!

A few days later, one of my closet racks broke, leaving cardigans, pants, and skirts on the floor. I've moved them temporarily to another hanging location.

Later that day, I heard something that I was finally ready to hear.

Now, I commute an hour and a half twice a week to my teaching job out on Long Island, and since my commute involves walking, a train, changing to another train, waiting for a shuttle, and walking to my building, not much of that hour and a half is involves me sitting in one spot. So, I listen to podcasts, mostly about Catholic families and marriage. (Currently: The Catholics Next Door, Catholic in a Small Town, and The Stupendous Marriage Show, sometimes This American Life.)

One of the podcasts featured the idea of minimizing the amount of stuff you own. As I said, I was finally ready to hear. Joshua Becker was talking about his new book (Living with Less: An Unexpected Key to Happiness) and his own experience minimizing his stuff. He's a family man, with two kids and a house in the suburbs. I thought, if he can do it, surely I can. Yes, we have two kids, but we live in New York, and, let's face it, I have way too much stuff for this little apartment.

He made several points that stuck with me (I'm paraphrasing):
-We know things can't give us happiness, so why do we invest so much time buying them, cleaning them, and organizing them?
-Maybe, just maybe, Jesus was actually serious when he said to sell your possessions and follow him. (You certainly don't need to be a Christian to be a minimalist, but this hit home for me.)
-We should use our money for more valuable causes than things, like charity. (Maybe law school loans first...)
-We should free ourselves from addictive consumerism and the never-ending comparisons.
-Plus, a host of side benefits: easier to clean, you know where stuff is, less time spent organizing.

There was one more thing that I'm not sure if Becker actually said but became clear to me after reading the book: I keep so many things for the just-in-case, maybe-someday future. Do I think I can preserve myself or my family from suffering by keeping stuff? That's probably a false sense of security that I foster with the keeping of all the stuff.

So, we are beginning Project Minimalism, with the goal of reducing the amount of stuff we own by at least 30%. My husband is on board, although I think it's implied that most of the actual cleaning out will be my task. I'm okay with that. I've started with the kitchen, since I can clean while cooking breakfast, lunch, and dinner. It means the kitchen has been a bit of a mess for a few days, but I've just about finished!

In addition to all of the stuff that I knew I would give away because I truly don't want it anymore, there were also some things I wrestled with but ended up giving away: waffle iron, fondue pot, vaccuum sealer and accessories, cast iron pan, some vases and candlesticks. I want to challenge myself to part with things that I kind of still want but realistically don't actually need. Things I ended up keeping but thought about giving away: my spare large pot, some decorative plates from my grandmother, some decorative copperware that I don't actually use, the Nespresso machine.

I probably won't give you the play-by-play on Project Minimalism, but if there are any interesting points or personal breakthroughs, I'll let you know.

What do you think? Can I challenge you to part with at least 30% of your possessions? Have you started minimizing in your own home and found it helpful?

For more info:
The Stupendous Marriage Show Podcast
Joshua Becker's website BecomingMinimalist.com