tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post346210869946288996..comments2018-03-23T23:48:32.242-05:00Comments on Morgan's Blog: My Dual Part-Time Parent PlanMorganGMachttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10658322255723243349noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post-73530784745995637582012-12-09T20:20:36.978-06:002012-12-09T20:20:36.978-06:00Thanks, Kathy. Yeah, I do think a lot of industrie...Thanks, Kathy. Yeah, I do think a lot of industries are not open to anything but a 40-50 hour work week, so if you wanted a more dual-parent lifestyle, it would have to be more important to you, maybe, than the job itself. But, that's kind of what a lot of moms feel like they have to do if they want to work period. <br /><br />Maybe NYC has made me more...on edge? about this whole working parent thing. Chad's schedule is insane. He was home and *not working* this weekend, and I feel much more calm about family now than I usually do. If he could just get a weekend (a weekend *day*?) more often, that would honestly help.<br /><br />I do think I've generally gotten two major messages. In college, I remember a professor saying very sarcastically to our Sociology class of mostly women, "I mean, after all, how many of you are here getting your ridiculously expensive Bachelor's degree just so you can stay home with kids? Honestly, raise your hands, how many?" I raised my hand. None of the other 20 women did. Afterward, 3 young women, who I had never talked to before, came to me and said, "You know, I kind of want to be a stay-at-home mom, but I just was too embarrassed to raise my hand!" I think there's a strong push to say not only are women worthy of working full-time, they are obligated to, as a matter of feminism pride. <br /><br />The other message I get is, honestly, from some of the more religious people I know in my life, who insist that women are the best nurturers and so are not only worthy of staying home full-time, they are obliged to, as a matter of pride the in talents God gave them. <br /><br />And I don't know what to do about these conflicting messages. Maybe my circumstances have had me run into these ideas more than most, but I kind of don't think so. The hardest part is that I'm open to both. I feel like, if God wants to use my talents in the workforce, I would totally do it. I feel just as strongly that if God wants me to use my talents to home school my kids, you know what, I totally would. I feel pulled in both directions, and I don't know if it's society talking at me or God nudging me. <br /><br />Thus, this really confused/ing post.<br /><br />But I am always grateful for other women's perspectives because how else are we supposed to make sense of all of this? I am glad that you're in a much more peaceful place that I am, though. :) Hopefully this struggle will work out for the best in the end. But preferably in the near future. MorganGMachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10658322255723243349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post-87315985234700432882012-12-06T20:50:11.946-06:002012-12-06T20:50:11.946-06:00About your plan: It could work. It *does* work. ...About your plan: It could work. It *does* work. For some people, in some industries, etc. Maybe it's telling that the first example I thought of was someone who is <a href="http://sewliberated.typepad.com/sew_liberated/2012/08/where-were-going.html" rel="nofollow">leaving that lifestyle</a> for a more typical dad full-time, mom part-time, with grandma's help setup, but there were extenuating circumstances. Anyway, I actually feel like I see a fair number of stories along the general lines of: SAHM starts at-home business, which takes off, and husband is in career transition anyway, so he comes home. And everybody works together, although it probably isn't as idyllic as it sometimes sounds.<br /><br />As far as planning such a schedule from the get-go, I think to make that work it would have to be the top priority. None of this choosing-what-industry-sounds-interesting. You'd have to choose the job based on the schedule. Which sort of brings you back to your critique of point 1. Maybe that's okay because the priorities are better ordered?<br /><br />Anyway, about the messages you feel like you're hearing, I don't think I'm getting the same vibes. Because, you know, Grand Rapids is so much more enlightened than NY. Part of it is probably because I am where I want to be at the moment in that respect, and so it's not as much on my mind. Adam works a lot, but it isn't crazy. Most of my interests/gifts/talents are well-suited to being at home.<br /><br />That being said, I have no doubts that y'all have it harder. You want to be out, Chad's job and commute make that super-difficult, and the culture of the place is just so different.<br /><br />Eh, I've written a bunch with no real insight. Sorry 'bout that.<br /><br />kathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12206478948267638645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post-15462630008436068912012-12-01T19:43:57.240-06:002012-12-01T19:43:57.240-06:00Thanks, Rachel. Yeah, I guess I'm still in the...Thanks, Rachel. Yeah, I guess I'm still in the process of figuring out what's best for us. I stayed home for 18 months, I've worked part-time for 18 months, and I just continually feel like the options I (and women in general) have could be better. Heck, the options for men and women in general could be better. How many people are talking about work/life/family balance these days? Basically everyone.<br /><br />KPB, thanks too. I read Hochschild's "The Managed Heart" in grad school, but I have not read "The Second Shift" or "The Time Bind." I'm adding those to my to-read list now. <br />The productivity question is a tricky one. Technically, a couple working 50 hours a week should be comparable to a breadwinner working 50 hours a week for the stay-at-home counterpart. But, the male-dominated industries like engineering would suffer. <br />Also, yes, this model probably would slow the economy, but, I don't know, maybe having a thriving family would be better than snazzy technology. It does seem like a model that would be easier to adopt at the small business level than the 24-hour-7-days-a-week-multi-million-dollar businesses. <br />Ah, well, thanks for the comment, and now I have more reading!MorganGMachttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10658322255723243349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post-2687256424895181802012-12-01T06:48:07.570-06:002012-12-01T06:48:07.570-06:00I assume you've read Arlie Hochschild? She'...I assume you've read Arlie Hochschild? She's been calling for that exact system since the 1970s. I'm all on board. The backlash I tend to hear when I describe such a work scenario is that US productivity would plummet. Apparently those people are okay with sacrificing our children and our families to the great capitalist machine. Sad. But it also shows a serious lack of imagination. Thanks for being a free thinker! Let us be voices in the wilderness!KPBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06733907163055575077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2358031756011678710.post-1046310690905185862012-11-30T20:34:32.973-06:002012-11-30T20:34:32.973-06:00Being a parent is a rough no matter which path you...Being a parent is a rough no matter which path you take! All you can do is try your best and pray God takes you down the path that's best for you and your child. I thought my path consisted of both of us working but God changed my path and now I'm at home with Noah. I think it's what is best for him but of course everyone is different. Rachel Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08052990033714313794noreply@blogger.com